Wow! Its been two months!

Two whole months since I have even checked my blog! Mainly because I have slacked off with my kids book of mormon lessons for the summer and have been afraid to get on here...lol. In truth, I was waiting for all my books to be sent out before I posted anymore...and summer came and...ya know. Well, its late but would like to quickly fill anyone who might read this what has happened in the last two months. Not much. James, Church, Work. James, Church, Work. I have gotten into listening to books on tape in the car and I must say that the Women of the Bible stories are really captivating! Some are a little hot...lol. Well...bible hot...lol. Am I going to far? I really have to turn it off sometimes when James is in the car! They are very clean and appropriate and it might be me just being single for while now...but, really, good stories :) And ive learned a few things about that times culture also. Makes me really really thankful for being placed in this time, country and around certian people. Not sure what I ever did to deserve to be placed in such an easy life...but I sure thank God for it. I very well could be in Africa right now drinking dirty water with a hungry stomach, but instead am blessed with a home and a soft bed listening to my healthy child breath as he sleeps. Im sure there are reasons  for everything God has done and created...but cant stop from feeling guilty sometimes about how much I have. God blesses me everyday.

Pretty Lucky Girl

Just would like to say how fortunate I feel to have found our church. I come across countless people at work everyday and they are so...well, lost. I started reading the book called The Purpose Driven Life and I recommend it to EVERYONE. Its a 40 day read a little each day book. Very enlightening. In the few days that I have read I have been given such a calm and relaxation about everyday things. I realize even more know that our time on earth is a meer blink compared to our eternal life. It matters very much what we do..but all the little things...work, arguments, projects and all the little details of life have become a breeze. There is no stress in my life. There are lots of things that I am responsible for (raising my child, working to afford to live, ect) but my priorities have changed. I think the book has helped me to be able to change the position of importance. Do all things to please God, be a good person and help others to see Gods love and give James tools to be a responsible christian. I am the only one responsible for my actions..and when people realize you are not only a christian but a "practicing" one they are going to try and find flaws in you to make themselves feel better. I find myself just watching people sometimes. Its funny how just watching someone you can see how they live their life and the way their list of important things rank. Sometimes I try to view everyone as my direct brother or sister. Ive done this at work a few times and its really a new experience, they dont know Im doing it, but I feel a pain for them knowing that they dont know God. Ive been blessed to learn how to gracefully start a conversation with the intention of turning it toward church or God and have found that for LOTS of people thats all it takes is for someone to bring it up (because it was too hard, or way uncool, for them to). Others, have amunition built up to fight against you. I am blessed, I can see progress that God is working in my life, an answer to my prayers from a year ago. Once the desire is there, with a little work, God will back you up. His love is constant and pure. James always says "i want to be as strong as God!". I tell him not only is that impossible, but you dont want to be because who will you go to for help? If your as strong as God, he cant help you when you need someone stronger! I remember last year I saw a billboard on the side of the road, it said "feel like God is far away? he wasnt the one who moved." I got really angry when I saw that, no reason why, just really angry. I think that was one of the turning points I had. I was angry because the adversary was working against me to keep me from feeling Gods love. Satan was putting a hate in my heart to resist God. Looking back it could have gone either way at that time, I am so thankful that God interveined when I asked for help. I really didnt know at that time that it was possible to change my heart this much. He is so good. He allows me to feel pleasure intstead of embarassment when my child starts singing Jesus Loves Me or Zacchaeus or My God is so Big, So Strong and so Mighty in the checkout just out of the blue becuase thats what he likes. James has lots of questions about heaven and God, I just tell him...since God created Adam out of just dirt, there is no way we can know how wonderful and fun heaven is going to be!

Smile and Wave

After a month of thinking I had done my child a huge disservice by not working harder on his letters and sounds, I had his preschool parent teacher conference. James started preschool halfway thru so timewise he was already "behind" all the other kids that had been there the whole time. To my great releif (had to keep back tears when the teachers were talking) they said that he was a great kid and he was right where he needs to be. They said he behaves well in class, follows directions,  plays with others kids great and likes to try new things. As a single mom I get a lot of advice and with that some critisism. (sp) Im not able to spend the time Id like due to our custody agreement, which works out well, so to teach him all the things a stay at home mom or even a two parent family can is impossible. He likes learing new things and I know that the time we have together is well spent. I have limited TV (and for that matter he likes to watch religious focused movies anyways) and turn down the music while were driving so we can sing silly songs or talk about important things like why he has to eat green beans. :) Being a child with divorced parents he has some special needs. He has done a great job adapting and I know that this is because of the quality of time I spend with him. We have lots of things we are always working on. When I came to the point when I thought he was behind in his letters and sounds, I felt that I had spent too much time having him learn about the Book of Mormon stories I've been working on. I felt guilty. I had a hard time deciding if my guilt was right or not. In our time, I agree that it is important for our children to learn the things to funcion in the world...but is is more important to put these things first? They are going to have to learn to read and write to function in the world, but at 4? Either way...Im going to continue to teach James his letters, numbers and everything he needs to know to enter kindergarten in a year and a half, but Im going to also teach him what we are told to teach our children. About the Bible and Book of Mormon. While I want James to be over the average mark in education, I want him to grow in the understanding of the scriptures. So, while talking to the preschool teachers, they gave me some great advice. Every child is going to learn different things, lots of parents are going to have expectations and suggestions for you...just remember that you are his mother and you know whats best, so just smile and wave. :) James is great, he's perfect and he's MINE. He always tells me that when he grows up he wants to be an astronaunt, fireman, police officer and a preacher. I think were on the right track.

Hibernation

Last night James asked me if God and Jesus sleep. I said, no honey, they are always helping people. They are always busy trying to make people happy and doing good things for us. So, this morning I wake thinking about my life. How often do I sleep or take breaks from helping others and doing my best to please God? Who am I to be rewarded for taking these breaks or time for myself? Or worse yet, falling asleep? I know that God wants us to enjoy life and all that He has created, but am I doing too much enjoying causing personal time with Him to be on the side? Yes! Around the the Fall of last year, I decided that in order for me to find more time to read and study I needed to rid unnessesary things from my life and home. I purged books, movies, magazines, music, tv (we still have one for James' movies) and more. It was difficult at first but as time went by I was able to read and pray more. Little by little I felt like a hibernating animal, still at first then lazy when waking. Then the warmer weather (making time for God) came and I became motivated to hunt for food for my family, I came to the realization of my purpose; to provide a safe enviroment for James and me and provide us with plenty of food (scriptual learning) to keep us healthy. Finding the food is fairly easy, learning how to cook it and eat it is the difficult part. People try to steal your food and tell you it isnt good. The locusts come in and try to poison and destroy the hard work. I have had to learn how to keep them away but also to show them that the food is indeed good. So...like I said...random thoughts all the time. I hope that I have been able to say my thought from this morning without sounding too crazy!

Good and Bad; Psalms 51:10

The people that we have in our lives can also be seen as Wild Honey or Locusts. This might be a little harder to distinguish. The easy one is the Wild Honeys, they are good for us, lift us up, keep us on track. We need these people to help keep us pure. When you get enough of them together, working steadily, they create a home for the sweet wild honey that tastes wonderfully perfect and pure. But, the Locusts are a different story. The simple thing to do is say we need to rid them from our lives, but is that right? I have several people on my facebook page and other people I know that are not good for me. However, I keep them around because it is our duty to bring Christ's love to everyone we meet. If we truely love Christ, we are going to find a way to share His words, as hard as it may be. I have found that you never know who is a Christian, Athiest (finding more and more I didn't realize) or simply someone who needs just a lift when you are able to incoorperate your life's goals into conversation. My life's goal is to please God and thru Christ get to heaven. Can't say that I have perfected that quite yet, or ever will for that matter, but since I have been putting forth an effort by studying and praying for God's help, it has become much easier. Words come out of my mouth easier and I can stand stronger on my own two feet longer during a christian bashing. I beleive it is pleasing to God to see us sharing our faith as these "last days" are growing closer. Christianity is going to become harder and harder as the end comes but with God's help I know it is possible. So, Ill continue to keep the locusts close, you never know when that "click" that they are waiting for will come. A word, testimony, song, story. Could be anything. I certianly know I received one and it has changed my life, I feel like I've made it to the other side of the mountian and am no longer slipping...but pulling. Please don't interprete this as thinking I have a free ride, I have just came to an understanding about purpose and have been able to loosen myself from the grips of the evil one. I came across a scripture and it has become my favorite. Psalms 51:10 Create in me a clean heart: oh God, and renew a right spirit within me. I asked and he gave. I can feel a difference in my soul. Our God is so great, so mighty and so powerful. We can never repay, but should never stop trying. With all my tickets I hand to my tables, I write this verse on the back. I have found it's a great way to get people intersted and curious as to what it says. Some ask, some take it with and some completely ignore. But, at the end of the day I know I have gotten someone thinking and always get a few thanks.

For or Against?

i decided that ive really began liking the kids book of mormon blog ive recently made. however that and facebook just arent enough for me :) so, ive decided to make a more personal one. my life is constantly full of thoughts. i drive a lot since i live in oak grove creating some quiet time to be with my thoughts. i have such a testimony of Gods love for me in the past year. i want the very best for myself and my child. i want us to please Jesus and remain on a straight and narrow path. but, at times feel that some think i am overdoing it. overdoing church. i have finally come to an understand of my one true purpose. to work my way back to God. thats really all. i have a scriptural job as a mother to teach my child all that i can and prepare him for when he makes his own decisions. how can this be overdoing it when this is our only job??? so, im going to just be writing random things to clear my head as it is always full. the title Wild Honey and Locusts, while also scriptural, means just how it sounds. Wild Honey is sweet and pure like God's love. Locusts are hissing, ugly creatures like the devil. While some things seem grey, if we choose to look close enough, we can see them as Wild Honey or Locusts. Is this for God, or against. I also have lots of thoughts about amoral things. Television, Music, Food, Activities. Things that have no morals are not to be blamed for our actions. We choose how to react to them. I suppose this is a good starter. Let me know your thoughts!